Self-Awareness – Taking Charge of Power

What Skinner and other behaviorist never realized is that the laws and principles that define habits only apply as long as the habit remains on the unconscious level. The moment that we become conscious of the habit, it no longer has the power to control the behavior. We can control any habit, and the behavior it evokes, if we are fully aware of its entire pattern.

Our awareness, however must be complete and constant. We all know how hard it is to change habit. Someone looks at us in a “funny way” and we react. We know that our reaction isn’t helpful, we even know why we do it, but we find ourselves doing what w don’t want to do. The problem is that we are only partial aware of the entire pattern of the habit, most of which still lies hidden in the unconscious mind. Partial awareness only gives partial control. As long as we must struggle to control our habit, it means that we still aren’t fully aware of the habit.

Intellectual understanding has little power to control unconscious habits. Let’s take an example:

If a compulsive eater gains some awareness of his compulsive behavior and realizes that he is eating mostly to relieve stress, he recognizes intellectually that his behavior is not healthy for him. What then follows is a constant battle between healthy for him. What then follows is a constant battle between his good intention and willpower on the one hand and his habits of snacking driven by suppressed sexual feeling on the other. He will continue to have conflicts until he takes the next step in dealing with repressed sexual feeling directly.

Paying attention makes us aware. Awareness leads to conscious choices. This immediately weakens the habit. The compulsive eater has several options. He can continue to eat and suffer the consequences – or he can decide to eat at certain times. Instead of eating between meals when he feels the urge, he practices a relaxation or breathing exercise. The more relaxed he is, the easier it is to deal with the compulsion to eat. The more skilled he is at relaxing, the more sensitive he is to the thoughts and feelings that drive the compulsion. This gives him even greater insight into the real reasons for the compulsive behavior. The more awareness, the greater the opportunity for choice, and the more control he has.

Becoming aware of your unconscious patterns is not just an exercise in counting symptoms. It means that you become more sensitive to the thoughts and feelings that accompany and even precede your actions. If we pay attention to your body as you exercise, becoming more aware of your heart’s behavior, which muscles are moving, the changes in your breathing, you become more sensitive to what actually is happening in your body. As you become more aware of your internal states, you understand the cause/effect relationships between thoughts and behavior. The more aware you are, the more able you are to choose a different behavior as well as choose different ways of thinking.

CHOICE, NOT STRUGGLE

The emphasis must be on choosing the habits we want to build, not struggle to eliminate the old habits. Most of us think of self-discipline as making ourselves do something we don’t want to do. If this is the case, very few of us will ever succeed. We can successfully learn to be self-disciplined if we remember three key points:

1) Inspiration is 90 percent of the success for self-discipline. Work on building habits that you really want to have.

2) Practice makes perfect. Once you decide on the habit or pattern of behavior or the thinking that you want, practice that behavior or thinking pattern every day. You won’t create change by wishing something would happen, or by imagery alone. You must act on your choices in order for the choices to become deeply grooved in the mind.

3) Determination and persistence will always lead to success. There is no failure, only premature stopping. A habit takes time to establish itself in the mind. Once you decide on a particular behavior that you want to build, allow at least three months to begin to groove the habit into your mind.


ABOVE ALL BALANCE

To be successful, self-discipline must be tempered with balance. We don’t grow much as human beings if we become over developed in one area and remain retarded in everything else. Genuine balance is not a static condition, but a dynamic process, constantly evolving as we grow and evolve. When we are balanced, we are spontaneous instead of programmed, relaxed instead of tense, responsive instead of reactive, and in tune with the world around us. Balance involves the integration of all dimensions of the personality. But physical balance must involve emotional balance. Even the best of food becomes toxic and our exercise just another pressure if we don’t know how to balance our emotions. Emotional balance requires that we build our relationships with others with the same care that we build the relationship with ourselves. Both emotional and social balances emerge from our increasing spiritual awareness.

The same tools and techniques that give us control of ourselves also help us to become balanced human beings. But along the way there would be times when we allow ourselves and others the freedom to think in different and unusual ways and to make mistakes. We need only to be patient with ourselves and with others. The practice of patience is just as much apart of self-mastery as anything else we may do. Like other skills patience takes sincere practice and effort.

Laziness: The Path to Nowhere

Like any organization, the personality resists change. This resistance comes mostly from our habits. Laziness is one of the most pervasive ways in which we experience this resistance.
It’s easy to rationalize laziness, we are action oriented society but with heavy dose of couch potatoism. The most common complaint is, “I don’t have the time to do the relaxation exercise (or anything else).” While we will find enough time to watch an average of two hours f television a day, the time to waste on idle chatter, the time to have a couple of cold ones. We find time to clean our bodies, our cars, our homes, but we don’t take time to clean our minds.
The great danger of laziness is that it turns us into victims with guaranteed life of misery. If we are unwilling to make the effort necessary there is no way we can take the power away from our dragons or solve the problems of stress.




Self-Training: Taking the Steps to freedom

It is upto each of us to make the choices necessary to be free. No one can be aware for another, and no one else can slay our dragons. When we blame others or ourselves for our behavior, we end up with even greater weakness and fear. Our habits are ultimately our own responsibility. If we choose to ignore them, no therapist, doctor, friend, spouse, teacher, or even God can help us. We choose to be unaware, we alone allow habits to remain in power, and we alone suffer the consequences.
The path to self-mastery and freedom lies in our conscious decision to use our own power to create and sustain balance, to develop and use our inner resources. Everything we need is sitting right there within us, hidden only by our ignorance. Take the next step. N one asks that you believe, only that you experiment, practice, and become strong. We can take back the power. We can become masters.



I hope by now we know the importance of self-awareness, let’s continue with Self-discipline along with the techniques to achieve both as to gain Self-mastery.