TAKING CHARGE OF POWER
Self-discipline doesn’t mean self-punishment. Self-discipline is about accessing inner strength and developing the ability to do whatever we choose to do. The beauty of this is that we already have everything we need to become skillful human beings. All we need to do is understand a few simple things about the mind and body, and we can use power in creative and useful ways for ourselves and others.
Our Habits: Channeling the Power
A habit is like a groove that channels the energy of the mind in a certain direction. The more often the mind’s energy travels down that channel, the deeper the channel, and the stronger the habit becomes. We form these groves, or habits, through a process called conditioning, repeating behaviors associated with pleasure and avoiding behavior associated with pain.
We also build habits through association. The cause and effect may not be related to each other but occur close enough in time that we make a connection. Like my brother had stomach flu just after eating Prawns ten years ago. Even though he knows intellectually that the prawns was not the cause of his illness but the feeling is so strongly associated with prawns that he can’t force himself to eat it again.
When habits are practiced and refined, they are called skills. If we do something well or easily, it is because we have the habits that support the behavior. When something is difficult, it means we don’t have habits to support the behavior. We become skilled at driving, brushing our teeth, eating healthy or having good posture. We also become skilled at worrying, self-criticism, self-doubt and poor health habits because we practice them. Every time we worry, we are practicing worrying. No wonder we become so skilled at worrying.
The most powerful and subtle habits are those learned in the first five or six years of our lives. But we didn’t choose these habits they developed unconsciously as a result of our interaction with parents and society. Once these habits are established they become part of our personalities and guide our behavior for rest of our lives. If we grow up thinking we are not important or smart, it becomes difficult in later life to experience ourselves as important or smart. And we will probably spend a great deal of effort trying to prove that we really are important and smart. As long as we remain unaware of these built-in biases, we don’t have any effective way to counteract them.
Bad Habits Bring Bad Outcomes
We are all familiar with those habits that create emotional reaction for us. Let’s say that you walk into a crowded room and see two people together. One is a stranger, the other is someone you don’t like or trust. Your eyes meet this “enemy,” and you experience the moment of mutual recognition. Then the person smiles and drops his gaze. You see him whisper into the ear of the person sitting next to him. The next moment the stranger looks in your direction, smiles, and quickly looks away. Now, what does your mind do with this? Are they talking about you? No doubt! Are they saying what a wonderful person you are? Very doubtful! And what is your emotional reaction? Does the term “paranoia” fit?
Did you make a conscious decision to be upset? Highly unlikely. You walked into a situation and unconsciously interpreted actions along the lines of your past experience (Habits). The consequence was an emotional reaction, not a choice. Very few of us consciously choose to be disturbed!
It is the consequences of these physical habits created by our emotional reaction that we often call stress.
The Unconscious Power
The key to self-control is to take charge of our habits. Habits develop in many ways and for many different reasons. But all habits share one critical aspect – they only operate in, and because of, the unconscious mid. We may consciously build our habit, such as when we practice playing guitar or proper breathing and relaxation techniques. The whole point of practice is, in fact, to build a habit, to have a certain behavior that we don’t have to think about. Not a single habit function as a part of the conscious mind. According to the late B.F. Skinner, the “grandfather of behaviorism,” we are products of our environment, and are controlled by our environment.
Just think about the last time you became furious. A few moments before you exploded, I’ll will bet that you did not consciously and rationally think: “ hey this individual’s behavior call for an drastic expression of anger. I better scream and demonstrate some anger here.” Instead, you just felt an explosion of anger that came right out of the unconscious emotional reaction. This person pushed one of your triggers, and all your repressed emotional energy got channeled into your reaction. You didn’t really had a choice, you simply reacted. When we react to such emotional stimuli, we lose the power to act and our environment governs our behavior.
For example, let’s say you have acquired the deep-seated habit of feeling incompetent. This attitude learned in childhood, lies in the unconscious, where you are not fully aware of its power.
However, whenever anyone questions your judgement, you react with anger or aggression, and overwhelm your questioner with intense, logical argument. The intensity of your response indicates that one of your triggers (your old habit of believing yourself to be incompetent) was pushed, and you react to this with fight-or-flight reaction. When your inquisitor backs down, both the effectiveness of your reaction and the old habit of feeling incompetent are reinforced. More than likely you rationalize your reaction,, never really aware of the reason behind your action.
Self-discipline doesn’t mean self-punishment. Self-discipline is about accessing inner strength and developing the ability to do whatever we choose to do. The beauty of this is that we already have everything we need to become skillful human beings. All we need to do is understand a few simple things about the mind and body, and we can use power in creative and useful ways for ourselves and others.
Our Habits: Channeling the Power
A habit is like a groove that channels the energy of the mind in a certain direction. The more often the mind’s energy travels down that channel, the deeper the channel, and the stronger the habit becomes. We form these groves, or habits, through a process called conditioning, repeating behaviors associated with pleasure and avoiding behavior associated with pain.
We also build habits through association. The cause and effect may not be related to each other but occur close enough in time that we make a connection. Like my brother had stomach flu just after eating Prawns ten years ago. Even though he knows intellectually that the prawns was not the cause of his illness but the feeling is so strongly associated with prawns that he can’t force himself to eat it again.
When habits are practiced and refined, they are called skills. If we do something well or easily, it is because we have the habits that support the behavior. When something is difficult, it means we don’t have habits to support the behavior. We become skilled at driving, brushing our teeth, eating healthy or having good posture. We also become skilled at worrying, self-criticism, self-doubt and poor health habits because we practice them. Every time we worry, we are practicing worrying. No wonder we become so skilled at worrying.
The most powerful and subtle habits are those learned in the first five or six years of our lives. But we didn’t choose these habits they developed unconsciously as a result of our interaction with parents and society. Once these habits are established they become part of our personalities and guide our behavior for rest of our lives. If we grow up thinking we are not important or smart, it becomes difficult in later life to experience ourselves as important or smart. And we will probably spend a great deal of effort trying to prove that we really are important and smart. As long as we remain unaware of these built-in biases, we don’t have any effective way to counteract them.
Bad Habits Bring Bad Outcomes
We are all familiar with those habits that create emotional reaction for us. Let’s say that you walk into a crowded room and see two people together. One is a stranger, the other is someone you don’t like or trust. Your eyes meet this “enemy,” and you experience the moment of mutual recognition. Then the person smiles and drops his gaze. You see him whisper into the ear of the person sitting next to him. The next moment the stranger looks in your direction, smiles, and quickly looks away. Now, what does your mind do with this? Are they talking about you? No doubt! Are they saying what a wonderful person you are? Very doubtful! And what is your emotional reaction? Does the term “paranoia” fit?
Did you make a conscious decision to be upset? Highly unlikely. You walked into a situation and unconsciously interpreted actions along the lines of your past experience (Habits). The consequence was an emotional reaction, not a choice. Very few of us consciously choose to be disturbed!
It is the consequences of these physical habits created by our emotional reaction that we often call stress.
The Unconscious Power
The key to self-control is to take charge of our habits. Habits develop in many ways and for many different reasons. But all habits share one critical aspect – they only operate in, and because of, the unconscious mid. We may consciously build our habit, such as when we practice playing guitar or proper breathing and relaxation techniques. The whole point of practice is, in fact, to build a habit, to have a certain behavior that we don’t have to think about. Not a single habit function as a part of the conscious mind. According to the late B.F. Skinner, the “grandfather of behaviorism,” we are products of our environment, and are controlled by our environment.
Just think about the last time you became furious. A few moments before you exploded, I’ll will bet that you did not consciously and rationally think: “ hey this individual’s behavior call for an drastic expression of anger. I better scream and demonstrate some anger here.” Instead, you just felt an explosion of anger that came right out of the unconscious emotional reaction. This person pushed one of your triggers, and all your repressed emotional energy got channeled into your reaction. You didn’t really had a choice, you simply reacted. When we react to such emotional stimuli, we lose the power to act and our environment governs our behavior.
For example, let’s say you have acquired the deep-seated habit of feeling incompetent. This attitude learned in childhood, lies in the unconscious, where you are not fully aware of its power.
However, whenever anyone questions your judgement, you react with anger or aggression, and overwhelm your questioner with intense, logical argument. The intensity of your response indicates that one of your triggers (your old habit of believing yourself to be incompetent) was pushed, and you react to this with fight-or-flight reaction. When your inquisitor backs down, both the effectiveness of your reaction and the old habit of feeling incompetent are reinforced. More than likely you rationalize your reaction,, never really aware of the reason behind your action.
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